The New Pet
by luvsanime02
Summary: Natasha is babysitting a friend's new pet. Steve is not happy about this.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Marvel comics or characters or movies, and am making no money off of this fic.

**AN: **Written for the October 21st Spooktober prompt: poisonous.

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**The New Pet** by luvsanime02

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"Aren't snakes poisonous?" Steve asks, eyeing the one in Natasha's hands warily.

"Venomous," Clint corrects. He's eyeing the snake, too, but with something like interest. He's inching closer, which is the opposite of Steve - who is shifting further away by the minute.

Natasha's almost tempted to toss the snake at him. Almost. The snake's never done anything to her to deserve that. "You wouldn't die from a snake bite," she says, petting one finger down the snake's scales just to watch Steve's eyes follow the movement. He's actually assessing the situation like it's a combat mission, or something. This is unexpectedly hilarious.

Apparently, Clint agrees. "No snakes in Europe?" he asks lightly. He's near enough now to touch the snake, too. Natasha knows for a fact that Clint has no interest in snakes, and that he's petting this one just to mess with Steve even more, and has to force her face to remain calm. It wouldn't do to start showing her amusement right now.

Steve gives Clint a look. "I was a little busy with destroying Nazi bases to research the local wildlife," he snarks, but does stop noticeably moving backwards away from the snake. "And I wasn't worried about me getting bitten," he adds, though that's clearly a lie. "You would both die from a snake bite, right?"

Natasha shrugs, purposely careless. "Depends on the species," she explains. "More of them are more harmless than not. Or at least not fatally venomous."

Steve's shoulders come down. "I assume that snake's not dangerous, then?" he says.

Natasha shifts the snake, pulling its tail away from her arm and draping it over her shoulder. "Oh, this snake's very lethal," she says in a tone that sounds reassuring, though she's not trying to be at all.

"It is?" Clint asks, and his hand casually falls away from the snake.

Steve steps back another foot, and he doesn't bother with trying to seem casual about it. "What are you doing with it, then?" he asks.

"Her," Natasha corrects. "She's female. And I'm just keeping her for a friend until they get some paperwork in order." She doesn't mention that the friend is Barnes. Natasha cannot _wait_ to see Steve's reaction when he realizes that Barnes is the one who owns the snake.

"And you're not at all… concerned?" Steve asks. "About taking care of a venomous snake?"

Natasha shrugs. "She won't bite me." Actually, Natasha is pretty sure that the snake would if she became scared, but not out of nowhere or for no reason. Natasha does not plan on giving her a reason.

"So, what species is she, anyway?" Clint asks, arms now crossed over his chest so that he can't accidentally touch the snake. Natasha is so entertained by their reactions.

She lets a sharp smile appear on her face, more poisonous than any reptile could ever possibly hope to be. "A black mamba," she answers, almost reverently.

They're one of the most venomous snakes in the world. Maybe the most. Definitely capable of killing Natasha, and despite what she said earlier, she's not at all sure about whether or not Steve could survive an attack by one of them. It would probably depend on where the snake bit him, and how many times, and how close he was to some kind of help.

Point is, Natasha has a deadly weapon draped over her shoulders, and Clint backs up quickly until he's standing even with Steve. Obviously, he knows what a black mamba is.

"Well, hope you have fun babysitting," Clint says, tugging on Steve's arm. Steve follows his lead, and the two of them swiftly make a full retreat. Natasha just watches them go, still amused.

Seriously, she cannot wait to see Steve's reaction when he finds out that he'll have to live with the snake from now on. Natasha will have to make sure her phone's out so that she can record every moment of his dawning realization of horror. It'll be priceless.


End file.
